


Heaven Help The Fool Who Falls In Love

by remylebae



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Slow Burn, a healthy dose of misunderstanding that is eventually resolved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22556494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remylebae/pseuds/remylebae
Summary: It happened to everyone: on your fourteenth birthday, the universe would nudge you in the direction of your perfect soulmate by a mark appearing on your skin.  It wasn’t a direct reveal: it certainly didn’t instantly tell you who you would be with for the rest of your life, and it was possible that you wouldn’t even meet your soulmate until years in the future.  Rather, it was a hint, or at the very least a reminder that somewhere in the universe, someone was out there waiting for you.Or, Anne is desperate to learn who her soulmate is, but finds that things hardly ever work out as planned.(Title is from the song Ophelia by The Lumineers)
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 13
Kudos: 282





	Heaven Help The Fool Who Falls In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lil_Redhead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_Redhead/gifts).



> This secret santa gift is extraordinarily late- my apologies, Tessa! Thank you so much for your patience, and I hope you enjoy it <3 This is the first attempt I've ever made at writing a soulmate au, and it was really interesting taking on a new theme! I took some liberties and played with scenes from the show, rewriting them and playing with the events occurring in canon at times.

Anne wasn’t quite sure when it was that she first heard about the existence of soulmates, but the concept gave her an incredible amount of hope.

Fourteen years. It had become a countdown, a date to look forward to, to cling to when days with the Hammonds were especially heinous, when she needed that one little thing to get her through whatever was being thrown at her.

Even after she had been adopted by the Cuthberts, it was still something she thought about obsessively. She would lay awake at night and imagine her fourteenth birthday, imagining the joy that would come with waking up and finally getting her soulmate mark.

It happened to everyone: on your fourteenth birthday, the universe would nudge you in the direction of your perfect soulmate by a mark appearing on your skin. It wasn’t a direct reveal: it certainly didn’t instantly tell you who you would be with for the rest of your life, and it was possible that you wouldn’t even meet your soulmate until years in the future. Rather, it was a hint, or at the very least a reminder that somewhere in the universe, someone was out there waiting for you.

The color and shape of the mark was different for everyone, along with the location, which was only shared with one person in the entire world, your true soulmate. Anne had once tried at dinner to ask Matthew and Marilla where their marks were, but she was only met with a short _that’s none of your business, Anne_ from Marilla and an uncomfortable look from Matthew.

Anne hadn’t been able to get any real information about the topic until she asked Mrs. Rachel Lynde one day after church, who had gleefully let out an excited gasp, choosing to walk the Cuthberts home and tell Anne all the details of her own mark, much to Marilla’s annoyance. Mrs. Rachel’s had appeared on the top of her right foot, a little “S” the size of her pinkie toe in a dark purple color. Apparently she had run into Mr. Lynde fishing, standing in a creek with his shoes off; she’d seen his mark, and the rest was history.  
  
That conversation had thrilled Anne; when she went to bed that night, she imagined her own soulmate doing the same, laying in bed and staring up at the ceiling and wondering when they’d be together. She wondered if she already knew him.  
  
And then… her fourteenth birthday came.  
  
Yet her mark did not.  
  
Oh, she had searched, believe her, spinning in front of her mirror, staring at the soles of her feet, her shoulders, her _everywhere_ , praying that she had just missed it somehow, hoping that the coloration was just making it hard to see. Maybe it was just the color of a scar, barely perceptible to the eye. She eyed her freckles in the mirror, wondering if a new one had popped up overnight, wondering if soulmate marks could even be that small.  
  
Her heart overtaken with dismay, Anne blinked back tears. She was unlovable. The universe had no one prepared for her.

She should have known. _She should have known._ She was such a fool. Of course she didn’t have a soulmate, why would she? An orphan with barely any friends, only just now finding herself with a family. Maybe the universe had forgotten about her. She supposed it wouldn’t be the first time.  
  
She dressed quickly, and when she went down for breakfast she spoke not a word of it to Matthew or Marilla. Marilla would only harp on her for focusing on something so frivolous and unnecessary, especially with as young as she was, with the entirety of her future ahead of her. And besides, Marilla wasn’t exactly the best person to go to about lacking a soulmate.  
  
She sat down at the table and tried not to look too distraught despite the fact that she felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest and shredded into millions of tiny pieces. Marilla mentioned something about a special dinner being made for her birthday, but Anne could barely hear her; she was much too focused on keeping up her composure, begging herself not to cry.  
  
Marilla went to refill Anne’s glass of milk, the thin smile on her lips quickly fading as she caught a glance of Anne’s expression. “Anne? Why, what’s the matter?"  
  
Anne silently begged her lower lip to stop quivering from the effort of holding back a sob. “Absolutely nothing,” Anne forced a smile for emphasis then added, “In fact, I am just so incredibly excited to head on to school and see Diana- I think she has a surprise in store for me, so if you don’t mind, I’ll just finish up and head on out.”  
  
As Anne spoke, she gathered ahold of herself, straightening in her seat to show that she was fine, that nothing was wrong whatsoever. Marilla quirked an eyebrow, her lips parting as if she was deciding whether or not she wanted to press the topic. With a slight shake of her head, she relaxed, placing the pitcher of milk back on the table. “Fine then,” Marilla said, softly but firmly, adding, “But finish your plate. We don’t want to waste any food.”  
  
Despite not feeling hungry, she ate her breakfast quickly, worried that Marilla was watching her and could sense that something was wrong. Thankful that Marilla didn’t seem inclined to press it, Anne excused herself from the table and grabbed her coat from the rack before picking up her books as well, rushing out the door.  
  
She had barely made it out of the house when the tears started flowing, with large, heavy drops rolling down her cheeks. What would everyone at school think when they found out? Surely she would be teased and tormented by the boys if they learned- and then what of Josie Pye? Josie would make sure everyone in town heard, going out of her way to ruin Anne’s entire life.  
  
A sob escaped Anne’s throat and she covered her mouth with her hand, worried that Jerry may already be working in the barn and listening in. She quickened her pace, leaving Green Gables, allowing her cries to grow louder as she made her way into the woods.  
  
She felt absolutely foolish. How silly of her, to think she had enough value in this universe that it would align her with a soulmate. How completely ridiculous. Anne leaned her back against a nearby pine tree, taking in deep, hiccupy breaths.  
  
What was she going to say when everyone asked? It was common knowledge after all, marking one’s fourteenth birthday as a shift into the next period of life, another event pushing one towards adulthood. She could lie, tell them it was on her back or somewhere else that they would likely never see, but somehow that felt worse than telling everyone that she hadn’t gotten one at all.  
  
Anne’s head fell in despair, her eyes squeezed shut as she allowed herself to slide to the ground, the bark of the pine tree digging into her back, unnoticed. _Maybe I should just run away_ , she thought glumly. _At least then I won’t have to listen to all the awful things Billy and his friends will say when they find out._  
  
Anne forced herself to stand again, feeling numb. At least she had stopped crying. With a sigh, she walked forward, knowing that skipping school would only lead to getting reprimanded by Marilla, and Anne knew from the last time she’d lied about her attendance that that wasn’t something to look forward to.  
  
Movement suddenly caught Anne’s eye and she stopped in her tracks; before her stood Diana, grinning from ear-to-ear, holding in her arms a small, ornately decorated fruit tart. A gift, Anne realized.  
  
Despite herself and the control she had just regained, Anne burst into tears.  
  
Diana's face fell and she rushed forward, reaching out for Anne with her free hand. “Anne? Is everything alright? What has you in this state?”  
  
“Oh it’s _horrible_ , Diana!” Anne wailed. “I should have known, I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, but of course I did, and now I’m going to be the laughing stock of the century! They’ll never let me hear the end of it!”  
  
“Hear the end of what, Anne? What on Earth has you like this, on today of all days-”  
  
“-I didn’t get my mark,” Anne cut Diana off, staring down at the ground, sure that she would only break down into sobs once more if she looked at Diana’s face. “I don’t have a soulmate mark, Di.”  
  
She was met with silence, and after a moment, Anne forced herself to meet Diana’s eyes, whose lips were parted in shock, eyebrows raised. Finally, Diana replied, “Well, you- you can’t be sure! I could help you look, maybe you missed a spot!”  
  
“Diana, please. I’ve looked _everywhere_ , believe me! _Everywhere_!” Another sob escaped Anne’s chest before she added, “Clearly, I am destined for a life of unhappiness and solitude!”  
  
Diana said nothing, at a loss for words. Anne wiped at her cheeks roughly with the arm of her coat. “This was supposed to be a special day- I’ve looked forward to this for so long, and now… it was all for nothing.”  
  
Diana frowned. “Soulmates don’t _truly_ matter though, right? I mean, clearly if everyone was destined to _someone_ , then….”  
  
Diana trailed off. Anne had a feeling that Diana was going to say something about Marilla and Matthew being unwed, and realized mid-sentence that that thought wasn’t reassuring in the slightest to her. Diana swallowed. “Just try not to overthink it for now, Anne. It- forcing things to happen won’t will them into existence, right? We’re still young.”  
  
Anne looked away, shaking her head to herself. _That’s easy for you to say_ , Diana, Anne thought as she readjusted her coat. _Even if you didn’t have a soulmate to look forward to, you still have so many opportunities. This is all there is for me._  
  
Anne walked forward, and Diana followed, tart still in hand. Her throat felt thick and tight with strain from pushing back her anger and hurt. “Josie and Billy are going to be _horrible_ about this Diana! And don’t get me started on Gilbert Blythe- he already hates me and thinks I’m an _idiot_ , and this’ll just add to all of that!”  
  
Anne huffed, eyes filling once more with tears as the schoolhouse came into view. She glanced back at Diana. “I just don’t want to face anyone today. I feel as if it’s been ruined.”  
  
Diana’s face fell momentarily before it brightened as a thought entered her head. “I’m here, though. I’ll do everything in my power to make this day a good one. At the very least, I made you this fruit tart.”  
  
Anne stopped, allowing Diana to pass her the pastry. Anne glanced down at it; it did look incredibly tasty. Anne smiled faintly, her heart swelling. “Diana, you are an absolute dear. You truly have the softest and kindest of souls. What would I do without you?”  
  
They embraced, and for a moment, Anne felt like everything would be okay.  
  
And then Billy walked past them, loudly whispering words to his group of friends, putting in effort to emphasize _Anne_ , _dog_ , and _ugly_ as he passed her, ensuring that she would hear them.  
  
Face hot and eyes filling with tears, Anne stormed away, fleeing towards the back of the schoolhouse, desperately needing a safe, quiet place to sob. Anne sat down on the ground, tart resting in her lap, covering her face with her hands as she cried hard into her palms.  
  
Soft footsteps neared and Anne jerked her head up, scared that someone was catching her in such a vulnerable state, only to realize that it was only Diana returning to her side. Diana knelt down next to Anne, taking back the tart. “I’ll wrap this up and put it in my basket for you to have later.”  
  
“Thank you, Diana,” Anne whispered hoarsely. She dabbed at her eyes, but new tears only replaced the ones she had just wiped away.  
  
“It’s what I’m here for,” Diana replied.  
  
Anne stared down at the ground, silent for a moment. “I’m destined to be alone forever. Just trash that everyone else forgot about.” She dropped her head into her hands, focusing on her breathing. “Even if they don’t all find out today, I can’t- I can’t hide this forever, Diana. When the rest of them- Ruby, Tillie, Jane, all of them- when we all have turned fourteen and all have our marks, I’ll have to come clean, and I can’t _handle_ that, Diana.”  
  
Anne’s voice cracked. She swallowed hard, pushing back a wave of hurt and despair that was attempting to crest. “Stupid, foolish Anne, destined to be alone, without a soulmate. Anne, the girl that the universe forgot about. You want to know why I don’t have a soulmate mark, Diana?” Anne suddenly straightened, throwing her hands down from her face. “It’s because I’m worthle-”  
  
Anne blanched, eyes locked past Diana as she realized they weren’t alone. Diana followed her gaze, eyes rounding wide. Gilbert Blythe stood just by the wall of the school building, having just turned the corner, his own face reddening with embarrassment as he realized that he had just walked in on something private.  
  
Flustered, he stepped forward. “I’m terribly sorry to intrude, I just heard crying and I was worried that someone was hurt. Are- are you alright?”  
  
Diana nodded for Anne. “She’s fine, don’t worry about it.”  
  
His eyes glanced over from Diana to look at Anne, who felt her own face heating up. She looked away, swiping at her eyes once more. He opened his mouth to speak then closed it, brow furrowing as he second-guessed himself. “I, uh- Ruby mentioned yesterday that it was your birthday today, Anne. How old- you’re fourteen, right?”  
  
Anne couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t just leave them alone. _Clearly_ she was going through something, and yet here _he_ was, trying to make conversation! The despair and pain in her chest was quickly replaced with irritation. “Oh, just rub it in, won’t you! There you are, listening in on _our_ conversation, and now-”  
  
“-Anne, hush,” Diana reached out quickly, firmly grasping onto Anne’s arm. “He’s not- Gilbert is just trying to be polite.”  
  
“I _highly_ doubt that, Diana, knowing him! I’m having the worst day _of my life_ , and he’s just here to rub it in that everyone hates me and I’m absolutely alone in the universe!” She shot a look at Gilbert, who seemed frozen in his spot, his forehead wrinkling in distaste as Anne continued, her own eyes filling once more with tears, “Let me guess, you’re going to go tell everyone that I didn’t get my mark so that Billy and Josie have one more thing to make fun of me for.”  
  
Gilbert stiffened, although his expression softened. “I wouldn’t- I didn’t know that you didn’t get your mark. Why would I tell anyone…?”  
  
He trailed off, frowning. Diana stepped in, speaking to Gilbert in a hushed voice. “Please don’t tell anyone, Gilbert. I don’t think it would go over well, knowing how Billy can be.”  
  
“Don’t worry about me, I won’t-”  
  
“-Oh, knowing _him_ , he’ll tell everyone the moment I’m out of earshot. He’s just like the rest of them, Diana; this is it, the chance for him to knock me down while I’m at my lowest.” Anne sneered, glaring at him. “Well, spare me, Gilbert. Just leave me alone.”  
  
He stared at her for a moment longer then huffed, bristled by her words, walking away with his expression twisted in offense and anger, muttering quietly to himself, his words inaudible.  
  
“See what I mean?” Anne gestured in Gilbert’s direction, looking glumly to Diana. “All the boys are so _awful_ , Diana.”  
  
Diana said nothing, instead choosing to reassuringly grab hold of Anne’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Anne shook her head, eyes filling with tears once more. “They all hate me so much, they’ll never get over this! Gilbert wandering over just to listen in, pretending like he cares when really he’s just as awful as the rest of them! Meanwhile, while they’re all being _awful_ , I’ll be spending the rest of my life alone.”  
  
Diana chewed her lip, her gaze lingering over to where Gilbert had stood. She looked back over at Anne, locking eyes with her. “You won’t be alone, though. I swear to you, as your best friend, that you will _always_ have me, soulmate or no soulmate.”  
  
Anne stared at her, mouth beginning to quiver, and quickly she reached over and wrapped Diana in a firm embrace. “You’re an angel, Diana Barry. What would I do without you?”  
  
Maybe Anne wasn’t meant to have a soulmate. The idea still brought a deep pain to her chest, but knowing that Diana would always be there by her side was like a balm to the burning pain that her lack of mark had brought her. It almost soothed away all of her hurt and anxieties. Almost. Anne shut her eyes tight and leaned into the hug, praying that her lack of mark would only be temporary.

\-----

Anne walked to school at an incredibly slow pace, an attempt to delay her arrival, her stomach performing somersaults; she could still feel the press of cold metal against her neck as her hair was snipped away, falling from her head and onto the floor. She was running late, which only added onto her anxiety: first her haircut and now one of her worst nightmares, walking in later than everyone else, drawing everyone’s attention to her new appearance the moment she would enter the school.  
  
Marilla had been so… _blunt_ about it, as if this wasn’t as big of a deal as it was, as if people weren’t going to stare and laugh. More kindle for the fire with which people would berate her for. Tentatively, Anne reached up and felt the ends of her hair, reminding herself that the braids that usually rested on her shoulders were now non-existent. Her head felt light on her shoulders, her heart heavy in her chest; she could still feel the burn of Matthew’s stare on her from breakfast. If _Matthew_ of all people was thrown off by her hair, then surely her classmates wouldn’t react any better.  
  
This would just be another way for Billy and Josie to other her from the rest of the group, a new reason to single her out from everyone else. She ran her fingers through what little hair she had, swallowing hard. There was no way that this could end well.  
  
The school came into sight and Anne froze, feet stuck in place. She swallowed hard, breathing in a shaky breath. “This might not be awful,” she told herself as she stared ahead, watching the younger students running about, shrieking playfully. “After all, every other time something has happened that gave them reason to hate me, they’ve accepted me again… eventually.”  
  
She continued down the road, quickening her pace as she watched the final few people rush inside. As Anne reached the building and climbed up the front steps, she felt grateful that she was wearing a hat, although she knew that it was simply prolonging the inevitable.  
  
Gaze downcast, Anne entered, shutting the door softly behind her. She quickly approached the wall of hooks and racks for her to hang her things on, turning to face the small room around her, wondering how she was going to build up the nerve to drop her things and enter the main classroom.  
  
She stepped forward, glancing inside before stepping back again; strangely, it was busier than normal, with everyone chattering excitedly about… something. Anne couldn’t quite tell. She wondered, distractedly, if there had been more news about the Christmas pageant, but even the thought of something so thrilling and joyous as such a performance couldn’t stray her mind from the subject of her current appearance.  
  
She glanced at the door. _Maybe I should just_ -  
  
And suddenly Diana was beside her, quickly stepping into the vestibule with Anne, eyes wide as if unsure how to approach the subject. Anne wet her lips, exhaling shakily as she glanced around them, checking to ensure that no one was listening in. “There was an incident, Diana.”  
  
They conversed in hushed whispers back and forth before Diana finally convinced Anne to remove her hat. Anne watched Diana with a held breath, watched her friend’s attempt to control a reaction, glancing now and then back into the main room where everyone else was laughing and joking about.  
  
Diana smiled then, inhaling deeply, her face shifting into a resolved, decisive look as she reached up and removed the blue ribbon from her own beautiful hair, stating firmly, “I made a promise… never to forsake thee.”  
  
“Besides,” she added, smiling again, wider this time, an attempt to reassure and soothe Anne. “It’s only hair. It’ll grow back soon.”  
  
“Not nearly soon enough,” Anne replied weakly. She turned, placing her hat on a free hook, before running a few fingers through the hair on the back of her head, still unnerved by its length.  
  
Anne allowed her hand to fall back down to her side, about to turn back around when:  
  
“Anne. Don’t. Move.”  
  
Anne froze, her blood running cold in terror. “I- what is it?” she asked, her voice pitchy in tone, unable to hide just how much Diana’s reaction frightened her.  
  
“Just- just wait a minute, alright? Don’t move, I need to check something.” Anne felt Diana move closer, felt Diana’s hand gently touch her hair, parting up the lower strands as if looking for something.  
  
Diana suddenly gasped and Anne stiffened. “What? What is it?”  
  
Diana stepped around quickly to face Anne; to Anne’s surprise, Diana was staring at her incredulously, eyes wide. “I think- I mean- Anne, the back of your head, under your hair, are you aware that you have…,”  
  
Diana trailed off, searching Anne’s eyes for any amount of recognition. Anne stared. “What is it? Tell me, I can handle it.”  
  
“Anne, you have a mark.”  
  
Anne blinked. A mark?  
  
_Oh._  
  
Anne balked at Diana, mouth falling open. “ _What!_ I- No, it can’t be!” she shrieked, voice shrill.  
  
Diana gestured frantically for Anne to lower her voice, walking back around to check out the back of Anne’s head. Anne meanwhile ran her hands over the skin there, desperately attempting to feel any sign of raised skin, any difference from the rest of her head. Diana clucked her tongue softly. “No, it’s flat, you won’t be able to feel it,” Diana replied. “Do you want me to tell you what it looks like?”  
  
“Of course! Tell me!” Anne looked down at her hands and realized they were shaking. She turned her head to glance at Diana, aware that it was impossible for her to see the back of her own head; still, that didn’t stop her from trying. Anne reached over and pressed a hand against the wall in order to steady herself and her nerves. She felt like she may either cry or pass out, and she wasn’t looking to do either of those things in the current moment.  
  
“It’s fairly simple. It’s black in color, and the shape is a thin outline, only as thick as a pen mark. It’s about the length and width of my thumb. A square, separated into four even sections. Sort of like…,” she paused, thinking, before her face lit up. She pointed at a nearby window. “Like that!”  
  
Diana walked back around to face Anne, her smile incredibly wide, until she saw that Anne’s own face was a mixture of disbelief and shock. Anne swallowed hard. “I can’t- I have one? Diana, my- my nerves are a mess! I can’t possibly go in there now, not with my hair cut so short and now _this_!” Anne breathed in a short breath, then added, “What am I supposed to do? Sit through a day of class, like _this_? I can’t handle this! If-if anything else were to happen, I think I would die!”  
  
Diana glanced back into the main room where everyone else was still gathered, her lips tightening into a thin line. “I think going in is your only choice.” She gently squeezed Anne’s arm reassuringly. “I’ll go in first, if it would make you feel better.”  
  
Heart in her throat, Anne watched Diana walk forward, her own mind racing as she forced her legs to follow in Diana’s path.  
  
She entered slowly, allowing her eyes to scan the room for only a moment. Everyone’s eyes were glued on her; even when she dropped her gaze, she could feel it. She kept her own eyes on the floor in front of her, wanting to avert her gaze for as long as possible. People parted out of the way, the crowd splitting down the center, and just as Anne was finally able to will her eyes upward again, pulling them from their glued place on the floor, she found her next breath snatched from her chest.  
  
She halted, mouth gaping and eyes wide as Gilbert Blythe stepped forward, his own eyes falling on her, a smile forming as he approached her. “Anne.”  
  
“You’re back.”  
  
The words escaped her lips in a gasp, as did the next few back and forths between them. She was distinctly aware that the room around them was silent, that the crowd had lingered around, and as she blubbered something about Avonlea not having gold she wondered, vainly, if he’d comment on her hair, if he’d tell her how ridiculous she looked. She stiffened in preparation, readying herself for a comment of that nature.  
  
Instead, he said, “It’s really good to see you.”  
  
Anne gawked at him wordlessly. Here he was, ignoring her hair, making no comment towards her appearance but instead saying perhaps the strangest thing of all: _It’s really good to see you_. Had he… _had he missed her_?  
  
Anne blinked, gathering herself, wondering in the back of her head if the Gilbert she had been expecting was one made up by her own mind, bias and time impacting her memories.  
  
She barely had any time to process these thoughts when Mr. Phillips entered from the back room to start class, calling attention to her hair with a snide comment. Anne stared down at her desk, ignoring the laughs, desperately attempting to block them all out. She thought again of her mark, and despite the snickers and hushed whispers behind her back, Anne felt something warm and reassuring grow in her chest. _Hope_.

\-----

Bash wasn’t taking too well to the cold. Gilbert knew the moment they arrived back in Canada that Bash would have a rough time acclimating to the weather, and Gilbert knew that he should be patient with Bash, but despite himself, there was something entertaining about teasing the man as he sat in front of the stove like his life depended on it. _Perhaps it does_ , Gilbert thought with a chuckle. Still, joking aside, Gilbert couldn’t help but worry a little as he watched Bash shiver and shake.  
  
Gilbert had retrieved some of his father’s sweaters for Bash; then, once sure that Bash was comfortable, he sat down at his kitchen table, preparing to start his homework. And yet, even with his books out in front of him, he found himself distracted from his readings, deep in thought.  
  
How strange it was to be back, attending school again after months away. Perhaps even stranger was reuniting with everyone again; his memory was unreliable and had constructed each person to be so unlike how they were in real life. He supposed he had only set himself up to be disappointed by placing such high expectations on his classmates; still, listening to Billy and his group of friends talk had only discouraged him.  
  
And then Anne had appeared. He hadn’t been sure if she was going to show up, and he had felt too awkward to ask where she was, worried that it would bring unnecessary attention to Anne, that it would only sour the conversation. But then she entered the room, surprising him: her hair was short, and a blue bow had been wrapped around her head ( _Diana’s bow_ , he had realized later, when he was bored during Mr. Phillips’s lesson and looking around the room). Besides that, he had noticed that Anne had looked incredibly uncomfortable.  
  
He didn’t dare think too much into it, but seeing her there made his stomach flip.  
  
Gilbert leaned back in his seat, exhaling heavily, running a hand through his own hair. He wondered how much had changed since he left Avonlea. It seemed that they were all hitting that age in which things were changing rapidly: people were falling in love, friendships were forming, soulmates were found. For a moment, he thought of his own soulmate mark, a pang of sadness filling his chest: his father was still around when his had appeared, grinning from ear-to-ear with excitement, despite his illness, the unspoken knowledge between them that he would likely never actually meet the girl that Gilbert was destined to be with.  
  
Gilbert sighed, shutting the book in front of him before moving it aside, folding his arms on the table and resting his chin on them. He wondered how the past year had been for Anne. While her letters gave him some insight, he was sure that she didn’t delve into everything. _Maybe she even got her own soulmate mark_ , he thought for a moment before shaking his head. That detail would have certainly come up in her letters, knowing Anne.  
  
Frowning, he straightened in his seat once more. At least this narrowed the whole soulmate thing down. It’s not like he had any particularly strong feelings about whether or not Anne was the one, and besides, he wasn’t even sure if he was completely convinced by the whole “soulmate” concept anyway. They were all young, and maybe it was just worth it to spend some time enjoying oneself without tying things down too soon.  
  
He stood up from the table, pushing the chair in before turning and looking for Bash. He wasn’t going to get any homework done anytime soon with all these thoughts distracting him anyway.

\-----

At first all Anne could focus on was Mrs. Rachel Lynde’s commanding claps and the counting of the beat and the jaunty, plucky music coming from Moody’s banjo as the class began to practice the dance they had spent arguably too much valuable class time struggling to learn. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself, feeling completely out of her element as they all spun in circles, holding hands with each other. Despite her deep concentration, she did her best to try and smile, an attempt to appear at ease.  
  
Something changed: Anne relaxed a little, her smile beginning to feel more natural as she eased into the rhythm of the dance, and soon Gilbert stood before her; he held his hand in hers and it felt so warm and comforting and….  
  
Something changed. Something shifted, and suddenly the dance was over even though Anne swore it had only just begun. She wondered if he had felt it, too, whatever this feeling was.  
  
Anne walked out of the school building soon after the dance practice ended, her thoughts a complete mess. She would need to talk to Diana about all of this. Or maybe Cole, although the agony of waiting for his response letter would be absolutely terrible. She needed someone to help her set things straight immediately, someone to analyze her feelings and tell her what they all meant.  
  
A gust of wind swept through the air and teased at her hat; Anne raised a hand to catch it before readjusting its position on her head, halting her gait as her hand lingered on the back of her head, on her small patch of skin where her soulmate mark rested. She allowed her arm to fall back down to her side, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. Was it possible that Gilbert….  
  
No. No way. She didn’t dare let her mind stray in that direction. Besides, surely his mark was elsewhere than her own, right? Anne tried to think back to all the conversations her friends had had about their marks and tried to remember if Gilbert had ever mentioned the location of his own. With a short gasp she realized that a conversation of sorts with him had never occurred.  
  
How was that even possible? Hadn’t they had numerous chances to have that conversation? Her throat feeling dry and tight, Anne swallowed hard, walking again. She needed to know for sure, needed to talk to Diana or Jane or _Moody_ , even, just someone who would know for sure. It couldn’t be possible, could it? And why did she suddenly care?  
  
A chill rushed over her and she thought to herself with a definitive nod, _Diana will know what to do_.  
  
She was about to quicken her pace when from behind she heard someone- a boy- clear his throat. Her blood ran cold. _Gilbert_. Why was he taking her path home? That wouldn’t make sense, unless he wanted to….  
  
She paled. _He wants to talk to me_.  
  
Maybe now _was_ the time. If they were alone and he was currently behind her, then surely it was the best time to confront him about what had just happened with the dance and his mark, wasn’t it? Fear flowing through her veins, Anne turned, not at all prepared for this conversation but readying herself anyway, needing to know if there was something between them, something written in the cosmos.  
  
“I- oh, Charlie.”  
  
Charlie smiled at her awkwardly, and Anne gently tried to return a similar smile, feeling a mixture of relief and dread run through her, uninterested in making small talk at the moment. “Afternoon, Anne. I was wondering, uh, may I walk with you a ways?”  
  
Anne supposed she didn’t have a good reason to say no. As he fell into step with her and they began a conversation, Anne tried to ignore the disappointment brewing inside her that Gilbert hadn’t been the one to follow along.  
  
She’d have to have a talk with Diana and figure this out, before it went and drove her completely mad.

\-----

“Since when do you care so much about what Gilbert Blythe thinks?”  
  
Diana’s question echoed in Anne’s ears hours following their conversation. Perhaps if that had been the lone question Anne wouldn’t have found herself stuck analyzing everything she had ever known and felt, but then Diana had asked if she had a _crush_ on Gilbert. Did she? Anne had balked at such a question in the moment, hadn’t had the words to answer anything with certainty, but not because she was avoiding her thoughts or lying; rather, she found that she just… couldn’t properly explain what she was feeling. How could she find the words to explain her emotions when she didn’t even know what it was that she felt?  
  
Even if it _was_ a crush that she was experiencing- _which cannot be confirmed or denied_ , Anne told herself as she pulled her hat on for the fair, carefully making sure not to mess up the neat blue bow resting underneath- what did that matter anyway if they didn’t share a mark?  
  
But still, until she knew for sure, was it really so wrong to get her hopes up? Was there any harm in wondering? Maybe he _did_ have the same mark as her, maybe he didn’t, but until she received some kind of confirmation, wasn’t she allowed to pretend?  
  
Anne had gone and written Cole about her whole predicament, although she suspected she could guess the general energy that his response would have. He’d likely tell her that she was just setting herself up to be heartbroken and that she should be cautious, but then again, he _had_ been the one to first alert her to the possibility of Gilbert having a crush on her. But that was a year ago, and much had changed. She was feeling... well, _something_ now, and she suddenly found herself caring more; when Cole first alerted her to Gilbert’s possible crush, Anne hadn’t been interested whatsoever, but now?  
  
Anne took in her reflection for a moment as she paused in front of her dresser mirror, glancing down at the dress Diana had lent her. She ran a hand through her hair, worn down for the fair, and thought, admittedly vainly, that she looked rather nice. She would have to thank Diana later; she wanted to look nice for her category that she was entering one of Mary’s entries in, just in case she won. That was it. She had absolutely no other ulterior motives or reasons for wanting to look nice.  
  
She paced around the room for a moment, before stopping by her window, staring out across her yard, taking in her beautiful Snow Queen, the cherry tree looking quite lovely in the light of a new day. What a grand world she lived in, full of lovely things.  
  
She had never noticed how lovely Gilbert’s smile was.  
  
At that thought, Anne’s heart skipped a beat, and decidedly, she made her way downstairs from her room. She needed to not be alone with her thoughts anymore.

\-----

There was something almost magical about the county fair’s atmosphere, something right out of a storybook. There were so many things to see and try, and Anne was practically shaking with excitement and she walked around the fairgrounds and took everything in, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
The fortune teller had been a risk, but her words were so inspiring that Anne found herself feeling as if she may pop, and as soon as she saw Diana again, Anne pulled her away from her family and Jerry, sure that she would shriek with joy if she had to wait another moment longer to tell someone her good news, speaking quickly before Diana could possibly get a word in.  
  
“Maybe he’s my destiny!” She sighed happily, searching Diana’s expression with her own eyes, impatiently waiting for Diana’s response.  
  
Diana grinned, her eyes glinting in a way that suggested she was about to make a teasing comment, when suddenly her expression fell, eyes widening as they stopped on something over Anne’s shoulder, behind her, and Anne spun around quickly, stopping herself from speaking mid-sentence as she followed Diana’s gaze, desperately needing to see what brought Diana to a halt so quickly.  
  
Gilbert stood, dressed up in his nice clothes, with a group of people, chattering away, standing closest to a very pretty, very well-dressed girl who seemed thrilled to be by his side. Anne took it all in for a moment, trying to make sense of the situation: was he with her family? Who was the girl, and why hadn’t Anne seen her before? And why was Gilbert smiling at her, following her with… with heart-eyes. _Oh._

Anne’s mouth dried up and her heart sank, her breathing shallow as she connected the dots. _Gilbert and this girl… they’re together. She must be his soulmate. Oh_. From there, Anne’s thoughts went wild, piecing together wild theories of when they met and how long he had been hiding this from Anne, from all of them. She continued staring, unable to look away, wondering just where their matching marks must be.  
  
For a moment, Anne felt that she might cry; then, suddenly thinking better of it, she huffed and turned away. She wouldn’t dare cry over this, especially not here, where she would be making such a public spectacle of herself, especially when the thing that was upsetting her was solely caused by her allowing herself to believe something so _foolish_. She had only set herself up for disappointment.  
  
Hurt and despair intertwined in the pit of her stomach and she found herself experiencing anger, real and hot, stewing and bubbling in her gut like a boiling pot about to overflow. She was angry at him, but even more so angry at herself, her brain, her heart, her imagination for letting herself think, even for a moment, that there was even the slightest possibility that she was destined to be with him.  
  
Anne scoffed, dropping her head against her chest, closing her eyes tight. _Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid_. She was a fool. She turned away before Gilbert could see her, unsure of what would happen if they interacted without her having a moment to calm herself down. She silently prayed that she would be able to gather herself before making an even bigger fool of herself in front of everyone. She already felt as if her world was crashing down, and she’d hate to have anything else to add onto that.

\-----

After another discouraging and useless visit with the fortune teller, Anne rushed off to find Marilla and Matthew, realizing that her category would be judged soon. If anything, she hoped it would do her some good, finding Marilla and explaining the situation to her. At the very least, Matthew would offer her a hug, and currently a hug was desperately needed.  
  
Anne rushed under the tent, picking out Marilla and Bash in the crowd, her apology already on her lips as she met the group, blurting out, “I’m here, I’m here-”  
  
And suddenly Anne was face to face with the beautiful girl who had given her a great deal of emotional turmoil. A girl who was currently standing close to Gilbert, her arm interlocked in his. They stared at each other for a moment, Anne wordless as any thought that she had had was ripped from her throat.  
  
Gilbert introduced her, but try as she might, Anne couldn’t fix her expression, couldn’t pretend to be overjoyed or charmed fast enough for her reaction to appear legitimate.  
  
The girl’s name was Winifred. She asked Anne about the proper spelling of her name. And she seemed wonderful.  
  
Anne forced herself to lift her hand and shake with Winifred, wondering to herself how long they’d be forced to carry on this awkward interaction, when just in time the judges suddenly announced number sixteen and Marilla whispered Anne’s name, reminding her that her cake was the next for tasting.  
  
Swallowing her hurt and her pride, hoping in the back of her mind that she didn’t appear resentful, Anne turned her attention to the judges, hoping that at least _something_ good would come out of the fair.  
  
Judging by the judges' expressions, however, it appeared that her cake would not be that thing. Anne rushed out before any blame could be pointed, cheeks growing red with embarrassment as she ran out of the tent, sure that everyone’s eyes were following her. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, and the world around her began to spin in dizzying circles. She wondered as she made it outside, away from everyone, if she was going to pass out. The idea was almost soothing; she thought she’d much prefer fainting in that moment than standing conscious where everyone could see her.  
  
“Anne!”  
  
Anne ran a few steps further despite hearing Gilbert call her name, aware that he was getting closer. She needed to make an excuse, needed to act like everything was fine, that she wasn’t incredibly embarrassed, that Gilbert hadn’t just unknowingly broken her heart.  
  
What could she even say to him? As she turned to face Gilbert, any reasonable excuse, such as, “I’m fine, go back” or even, “Don’t worry about me, I’m just upset that they disliked it” slipped from her thoughts; instead, she found herself telling him, “It’s fine. I’m fine. Honestly. I wish you two every happiness.”  
  
His expression shifted, just slightly, a look of humored confusion. She stared at him, waiting for his response.  
  
“Um, I was just going to say that Mary would have found that really, really funny,” he chuckled, smiling.  
  
“Right. Thanks,” she added quickly, the words forced from her lips painfully. She turned away, taking large strides, needing to be away from him, for _this_. Still, she found herself pausing, an unexplainable force pulling her to speak, and she looked back at him where he remained standing, adding, “You two seem very happy, very good for each other. It’s- it’s a real match, real soulmate material- congratulations, Gilbert.”  
  
Before he could stop her she walked away, desperately searching for a place to hide. They might as well be engaged already, for all she knew. Maybe they were; after all, why would he tell her if he was or not?  
  
_Real soulmate material_. It had felt good to say, voicing her hurt to him, but as Anne slowed her pace, she found that she regretted saying it. What did it do for her? Either she had just given him permission to be with Winifred or her words had just shown him how jealous she was; either way, she had just severely hurt her own chances.  
  
Anne fell to her knees, sitting down on a hidden grassy spot behind a fairground organ. If only she knew when to shove her foot in her mouth.  
  
She wondered what it was like to have one’s entire future figured out so soon.  
  
Once more, Anne found her hurt fading into a soft, brewing anger. She wondered if there was truly any validity to her resentment, other than a way to protect herself and her own feelings. She felt childish, knew she was being childish, but as she thought of Gilbert and Winifred, she couldn’t help but wonder if she had made him feel bad.  
  
Maybe that gave him too much credit. She doubted he even noticed that she was upset in the slightest.  
  
Anne glared at nothing in particular, scoffing, then pushed herself up off the ground. She’d take a few more minutes for herself, then go off and find Marilla and Matthew again. They were probably worried about her, and she didn’t want to stress them out by disappearing for an extended period of time. Hopefully she wouldn’t have to interact with Gilbert and Winifred again for the rest of the day: Anne wasn’t so sure she’d be able to manage them, and she didn’t think she’d be able to act polite and kind. Anne doubted that Winifred deserved being treated poorly, and Anne didn’t genuinely hold any grievances over her, but Anne was annoyed and hurt, and she had a bit of a track record of being unable to hold her tongue when she felt terrible.  
  
Wiping the dirt off her skirt, Anne breathed in a deep breath. She would be fine. She just needed some time, that was all.

\-----

The train ride back from Charlottetown felt achingly slow despite the frantic energy in the car around Anne. Her roommates and friends sat clustered in her general area, excited to be on Christmas break, exhausted from schooling at Queen’s and ready to see family and celebrate the holidays. Anne was excited to see Marilla and Matthew, excited to give them the gifts she had delicately crafted for them while away. She checked her watch, glancing out the window. They still had a good few minutes left in their ride, and she was growing anxious.  
  
She liked living in Charlottetown: she loved living with her friends, and the ability to see Cole more often again was wonderful for their small group of outcasts. She and Diana did their best to visit him whenever they could, although school scheduling often made planning rough.  
  
Anne smiled to herself: the pageant was tomorrow night, and she’d likely see everyone there. She missed Bash and baby Delphine.  
  
At the thought of Delphine, likely now much bigger than when Anne last saw her, Gilbert popped into Anne’s head, and she frowned. Cole seemed… disappointed with Anne that she had let Gilbert get away, and eventually they had to drop the conversation completely after bringing it up too many times: it just led to an argument, and even if Anne did let him get away, it was too late. Gilbert was off at the Sorbonne, learning about medicine and life-saving miracles, likely engaged if not already married to his soulmate. Anne stared out her window, trying not to feel bitter. She’d likely see him at some point over the next few days, and she’d hate to ruin it by being resentful.  
  
As time passed at school, Anne watched acquaintance after acquaintance find their soulmate, and Anne found herself no longer thrilled by the concept as time went on. At the very least, with soulmate meetings growing more common, her friends were no longer preoccupied with Gilbert’s own love-life. Hearing them discuss Winifred constantly after the fair had worn down on Anne, and she was grateful for the change in topic.  
  
Maybe Gilbert wouldn’t even be in town. After all, he was off in another country, and Winnie’s family likely had plans for Christmas. Anne stared out her window, watching as the train pulled through a snow-covered countryside, frowning slightly. For some reason, Anne couldn’t figure out if the idea of Gilbert’s absence relieved her or upset her.  
  
Anne felt someone gently tap her shoulder and she looked up: Diana stood beside her and gestured to the open seat next to Anne. Anne nodded, and Diana slid into the seat, smiling faintly. “Mother said Minnie May’s violin skills have improved immensely. I’m excited to see for myself; I have a feeling Mother may be exaggerating.”  
  
Anne smiled in response, saying nothing for a moment. Then, solemnly, “I missed seeing everyone. Even Jerry. But still… I can’t help but feel a little anxious.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
Anne looked away, her gaze trailing over the trees. She recognized them; they were getting close.  
  
From beside her, Diana sighed, leaning back in her seat. “You don’t have to answer that. I understand.”  
  
“What if everything changed while we were gone? What if we show up and nothing is as it was?” Anne turned to face Diana once more, beginning to chew her lip. She breathed in deeply, then admitted, “I can’t help but… wonder about Gilbert, too. Has- has your father heard anything from him, what with shipping apples for Bash and Gilbert’s orchard?”  
  
Diana shook her head. “Well, he may have, but he hasn’t mentioned anything to me. Why?”  
  
Anne said nothing for a moment; Diana knew _why_ , but she just wanted to hear it from Anne’s mouth. “I miss him. I- Ignoring everything from last semester, I miss our friendship. And I’m scared that he won’t want to talk to me. Who knows, he may not even be in town.”  
  
“I think,” Diana began, pausing for a moment. “I think that this isn’t worth worrying over. And if you want my honest opinion?”  
  
Anne nodded.  
  
“If I know Gilbert Blythe, he misses you, too. I’m sure he’ll love to see you again.” Diana stood, glancing around the rest of the train. “I have to go ask Tillie something. But just remember that, Anne.”  
  
Anne watched Diana cross the train, then slowly turned back around to face her window once more. Slowly, a smile spread across her face, hope growing in her chest like the flame of a candle on a wick. Maybe Diana was right. Maybe it _was_ best to be optimistic, to stop stressing over this. She supposed it couldn’t hurt to try.

\-----

The ride over to the pageant performance was cold, the wind biting at Anne’s ankles and her cheeks, stinging and drying out her eyes. Marilla and Matthew chatted back and forth, and when their questions were directed at her, she answered, although her attention was elsewhere. Perhaps it was vain of her, but Anne wondered if she had changed in appearance, wondered if anyone would watch her and find her to be pretty. She wondered if….  
  
Anne blinked, settling back in her seat. She looked down at her hands and realized she had been wringing them together in nerves. She attempted to refocus, hoping that Marilla hadn’t noticed that she was distracted, deep in thought.  
  
Anne raised a hand to her hair, checking that it was still in place. She straightened her skirt, fixing where it rested on her hips as their buggy slowed to a stop, Matthew coaxing the horses softly as he steered them into place. He helped Marilla out and then Anne, giving Anne a smile as she took his hand.  
  
They entered quickly, excited to be out of the cold. The room was half packed; with ten minutes until the pageant would start, people would continue spilling in for a little while longer, Anne reckoned. They chose a row of seats in the middle on the left side, and as Anne sat, she scanned the room for faces she recognized, eyes stopping on Diana, who was sitting across the room next to her father. Diana must have been waiting for Anne to notice her, as Diana met Anne’s eyes immediately.  
  
Anne smiled, waving; to her surprise, Diana gestured with her chin and eyes towards the front of the room. Confused, Anne followed her gaze, stopping quickly when she saw the familiar form of Bash, holding Delphine in his arms. And to his right-  
  
Anne snapped her head back around, facing Diana once more, her eyes widening. _He’s here_ , Anne mouthed at Diana.  
  
Diana nodded, glancing at him before mouthing back, _Where is Winnie_?  
  
Anne stared at the back of Gilbert’s head, her mouth feeling incredibly dry. She shrugged out of her coat, allowing it to rest on the back of her chair before glancing down at her white blouse, praying that it was unstained. When she looked back up, she glanced over to Diana once more, but before she could ask if she looked alright, the pianist began to play his starting notes, everyone’s cue to quiet down and start settling into their seats.  
  
As the pageant began, Anne found her attention straying throughout. The music was upbeat and perky, and the plot was delightful and funny, and yet she found her gaze straying to the back of Gilbert’s head. He was dressed warmly, in a coat and hat that she recognized well from school.  
  
Anne scanned the crowd, surprised that she didn’t see Winnie anywhere. _Maybe_ …. Anne shook her head, forcing her attention back on the stage. Minnie May was spinning around happily with two other girls her age, doing a small choreographed dance number. Anne glanced over at Diana’s parents, smiling to herself; Mr. Barry and his wife seemed absolutely thrilled at their youngest daughter’s performance.  
  
The performance came to an end, and as the applause died down, Anne stood up, pulling on her winter coat, glancing over once more at Gilbert, who was still facing the stage. He hadn’t seen her enter; they had arrived later than he had, and Anne realized that she had yet to see him glance back in her direction. Gilbert stood, holding Delphine close, and went to exit out the side. Anne frowned; it looked like she wouldn’t be talking to Gilbert this evening after all.  
  
Marilla nudged her, and Anne looked up; Marilla gestured after Gilbert. “Well, why don’t you follow him? You two should really catch up.”  
  
“I don’t want to keep the two of you waiting, Marilla.”  
  
Marilla glanced at Matthew, then shook her head. “I have a few people I’d like to catch up with before we head out. You have time.”  
  
Anne hesitated for only a moment before walking off in the same direction Gilbert headed, twisting herself past throngs of people as she searched for him. As Anne looked around the room, sticking her head into the foyer of the building, she found with passing seconds that he seemed to have disappeared, and disappointed, she stepped outdoors, just outside the main entrance.  
  
She was about to head back inside and tell Marilla and Matthew that she was ready to head home when someone approached her. “Hello, Anne.”  
  
Anne turned, a grin quickly broadening on her expression. “Bash! Oh, how good it is to see you!” She embraced him quickly, hugging him tight, and when she released, Anne turned her head around, searching. “Delphine…?”  
  
“Gilbert’s got her. She was acting all fidgety, so he offered to walk her around a little, get her out of the noisy building. It was all a bit too much for her.” He smiled to himself for a moment, then asked, “It’s very good to see you. How is school treating you and your friends?”  
  
“Very well. I missed Avonlea immensely, though. The people, especially,” she added, causing Sebastian to chuckle.  
  
“Well, we all missed you, too.”  
  
Anne couldn’t help but wonder if Gilbert was a part of that “we.” Anne wet her lips, swallowing, and carefully, in an attempt to seem nonchalant, Anne asked, “Has Gilbert been in town long?”  
  
“He got back a few days ago. Already getting on my nerves a little,” Bash laughed to himself, then continued, “But he’s always such a great help with Delphine, and I think my mother needed a break from just my company. Elijah’s around occasionally, but it’s not the same.”  
  
Anne nodded. “Has he… mostly been spending time with you, or has he been in Charlottetown?”  
  
Bash paused, tilting his head, his brow furrowing. He seemed confused. “Charlottetown?”  
  
Anne nodded slowly. “I just… wasn’t sure if he would be visiting Winifred’s family. If he’s home for the holidays, I assume she is as well?” When Bash made no attempt to answer, staring at her with widening eyes, Anne added on, “I didn’t see her here tonight, so I just assumed she would be with her parents right now. I haven’t seen her since the fair, you know; I- I hope she’s doing well.”  
  
Slowly, Bash straightened. “You- Anne, have you spoken to Gilbert recently?”  
  
Anne shook her head. “Not really, not since we last saw one another in person, and that was months ago. I kept meaning to write to him, but….”  
  
_But I didn’t think he’d want to hear from me. But I didn’t know what to say. But I was still hurting too much to even consider the possibility of keeping up correspondence with him._  
  
“But I didn’t have his mailing address,” Anne finally settled on. “And the Sorbonne is so far away, I was sure it would get lost.”  
  
From behind Bash, Anne noticed that Diana was leaving the building, and they quickly waved goodbye to one another. When Anne looked over at Bash once more, he was staring at her, mouth open as if he was trying to figure out what to say. “You… really need to talk with him,” he said slowly before smiling. “I think you both may have a lot to talk about.”  
  
Anne blinked. _Now what did that mean?_  
  
From behind, footsteps drew near; Anne could hear the soft cooing of a happy baby, and before she even had time to turn around, Gilbert was beside her, passing Delphine off to Bash. “She’s happy now, but I think she’s ready to nap. She was being rather fussy a few minutes ago.”  
  
And suddenly, with a huge grin on his face, Gilbert was looking directly at her, arms outstretched in glee. “Anne! It’s so good to see you!”  
  
For a moment, she thought he may have been considering hugging her, but quickly he dropped his arms, leaving only one up to shake her hand. They shook, leaving her feeling a little foolish for suspecting a hug; she hoped she wasn’t blushing.  
  
“I’ll be right back,” Bash said suddenly; Anne looked over at him just as he was scanning the crowds of people leaving, his eyes settling on someone specific. “I’ve gotta go tell someone something.”  
  
As Bash slipped away with Delphine in his hands, Anne looked back at Gilbert, whose face was twisted in confusion, staring off after Bash. “I wasn’t aware that he knew anyone worth running off to talk to.”  
  
Anne chuckled. “Well, maybe things have changed since we’ve been gone.”  
  
Gilbert’s stare stayed fixed on Bash as he disappeared into the crowd. “Huh. Perhaps.”  
  
Gilbert seemed almost… suspicious of Bash’s actions. Perhaps that came hand-in-hand with their relationship, the equivalent of brothers. Anne turned her gaze, realizing that she had yet to see Diana’s family or her own leave the hall. She went to comment on this but Gilbert spoke first, jumping in.  
  
“I suppose you wouldn’t be against humoring me and allowing us to chat a little ways off to the side? It’s a little too crowded here for my comfort.”  
  
Despite the cold, Anne nodded; the sky was clear and the stars were out, and she couldn’t say no to a chance to catch up with an old friend, could she?  
  
They walked a few steps aside, still in sight but out of earshot. Anne released a sigh of relief, relaxing as they settled down on a bench overlooking a vacant side road. Anne turned her head, glancing back at all the people out socializing; hopefully Marilla wouldn’t worry too much about where she had run off to.  
  
Anne readjusted her scarf, a chill running down her spine as a breeze found its way down her neck. At least it wasn’t currently snowing; the last snow still rested fresh on the ground. Gilbert adjusted his own coat, sitting a few inches away from her, a respectable distance that suggested a friendliness but an acknowledgement of personal space.  
  
“How is Queen’s?” he asked, smiling warmly at her. “How is everyone doing, the rest of the girls? I hope you’ve all settled in well.”  
  
“It’s…,” Anne paused, taking a moment to choose her words. “It’s hard at times. But I think we’re all enjoying it. I mean, I certainly am. Although, I am not completely loving the rules set in place by Mrs. Blackmore at her boarding house. Set curfews and such only hinder my ability to study and learn at the speed of which I’d prefer.”  
  
“I’m surprised you’ve stuck to the rules at all,” Gilbert replied, his eyes twinkling in jest.  
  
Anne made a face of disgust, shaking her head. “Well, it’s hard. I’ve been told to stay on my ‘best behavior’ or I may be kicked out, ever since I got caught last having Cole over outside of visiting hours. Really, it is just _ridiculous_.”  
  
Gilbert chuckled, and the conversation fell silent for a moment. Anne breathed in a deep breath of the crisp night air, staring up at the stars, so solid in their fixture. For a moment, her breath was snatched from her lungs as she pictured the billions of people who had witnessed the stars above them, the stars in turn looking down on everyone; she wondered what they knew, what they had witnessed. If anything knew of destiny and fate, it was the stars.  
  
Anne looked back at Gilbert quickly; he had followed her gaze it seemed, his eyes also locked on the skies overhead. Slowly feeling more and more uncomfortable in the silence, she asked, “How are you, though? It feels like it has been ages since we’ve seen each other!”  
  
He looked back over at her, running a hand through his hair, ruffling it into place. Almost immediately, a breeze messed it up again. “I’m doing well. I think. It’s a lot of studying, but I’m incredibly interested in it all. I just don’t really have much time to socialize, it seems.”  
  
Anne frowned. What was the point of going to university in another country when you couldn’t even leave the house? Sympathetically, she reached out and rested her gloved hand over his own. “That’s rough, especially with where you’re attending school. There’s nothing more lovely than getting to explore a new town once you move there.” She gave his hand a pat then drew back her hand, setting them both in her lap. “Still, how is Paris? Or at least what you’ve seen of it?”  
  
Gilbert’s face twisted suddenly, his brows furrowing. Anne froze in her seat under his stare; his expression suggested confusion and bewilderment, and terrified that she said something wrong or crossed a line she hadn’t known existed, Anne quickly added, “I don’t mean to ask anything too personal, I’m just interested what your experiences have been so far!”  
  
“No, no- it’s not too personal, it’s just…,” he trailed off, the sentence dying on his tongue, as if he had no idea what to say in response.  
  
“And- and Winnie, of course!” Anne interjected, words escaping her lips as if she had no control over them. “How rude of me for not asking earlier! How is she? How is your- Did you two get engaged? I’m so sorry, I’m so behind, everything just went so fast once we finished school!” She paused, swallowing, forcing herself to slow down. She offered him a smile, hoping she was coming off as humorous despite the throb of pain that panged deep in her chest, desperately wishing she could restart the conversation. “Let’s back up- how is Winnie?”  
  
Gilbert stared, wordlessly, before inhaling deeply. “Winnie is- I wouldn’t know, Anne. We- we’re not together anymore.”  
  
Anne blinked, mouth falling agape, the smile wiped from her expression. When she spoke again, her words were soft, as if she was unable to trust her own voice. “ _What?_ But- she- isn’t she your soulmate?”  
  
Again, Gilbert paused, eyeing her curiously. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear any of this, although I suppose Winnie and I did do our best to keep it from spreading too far, for her own sake. Still…,” his eyes trailed over her, and Anne felt as if she couldn’t breathe, her chest suddenly tight. “She was never my _soulmate_ , Anne. I think we both knew that from the start.”  
  
Bewildered, Anne scoffed incredulously. “But then...why were you two even dating?”  
  
He shrugged, and for some reason the action ignited a burst of anger in her, shocked that she had never heard this news, shocked that he had allowed her to go so long assuming something that she was only now learning to be false. She felt foolish. “We were enjoying ourselves. And really, I think- I think the whole ‘soulmates’ thing gets to people’s heads. The stress of finding your partner, I think it could ruin your life.”  
  
He sighed, frowning suddenly, adding, “But, social expectations are a thing. I- well, you know better than me that women are expected to marry and I think… I got the impression that her parents were growing anxious that she had yet to find a husband- she’s a few years older than us. I think Winnie no longer cared about soulmates and was more focused on getting started on the next chapter of her life.”  
  
“But that’s terrible! That’s just ignoring fate!” Anne threw her hands up in the air, exasperated, then settled back in her seat. “What about the Sorbonne?”  
  
“I’m at University of Toronto instead.”  
  
Silence fell; finally, Anne asked, her mind swamped with questions, “So you two dated knowing you weren’t soulmates?”  
  
He cleared his throat; she wondered if he felt just as awkward as she did. “I didn’t ask at first, and neither did she. We just sort-of went with it and tried things out without knowing.” He quieted, and for a moment Anne swore she saw a wistful look creep over his expression. It cleared quickly. “Eventually she showed me her mark though. We had fun; I wish things had worked out, for her sake.”  
  
“What was her mark?”  
  
Gilbert smiled faintly, then straightened, shivering suddenly. “It’s cold. Let’s walk again.”  
  
He stood first and she followed suite, walking in step with him as he continued, “She had a bright red symbol, almost heart-shaped, on her left arm, up near her elbow,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Not quite as subtle as, say, a window on the back of one’s head.”  
  
Anne froze, her blood running cold as she blanched, staring at Gilbert; unaware, he continued to walk a few steps forward. _What did he say?_  
  
He turned, searching for her, realizing she was no longer walking by his side; he looked back at her, confused. “What? What is it?”  
  
“You- excuse me? Can you repeat what you said?”  
  
He walked back over to her, giving her a curious look before running his fingers through the strands of hair on the back of his head. “Yeah, Bash once called it a ‘window into my soul’- I must have said something poetic or romantic, and of course he _had_ to tease me about it. I don’t really remember.”  
  
He turned his head and lifted the strands around where the mark was. “I hope you can see it; the light out here is rather dim at the moment.”  
  
Meanwhile, Anne was still frozen, gapping, her heart racing. She had no words, only able to stare up at the mark he was showing her, one that so resembled her own. How was this possible? She breathed in a deep breath, feeling faint.  
  
A few more seconds passed and he turned back around to face her. “I didn’t know it was there at first, but then one day my dad was cutting my hair and there it was!”  
  
Anne found herself staring for much too long to be appropriate but she couldn’t look away. She watched as his face shifted, uncomfortable under her gaze, and yet she wasn’t able to stop, wasn’t able to turn the queries and thoughts in her brain into actual sentences, actual verbal questions that she desperately needed to ask.  
  
“Anne? Are you okay?” he asked, stepping forward, his face twisted with worry.  
  
Silently, her heart beating rapidly, she turned around, feeling his eyes on her. Hands shaking, she parted the strands on the back of her head, the hair that had been piled neatly on top beginning to come undone as she showed him where she hoped her mark was, praying that he could see it.  
  
At first, Anne was only met with silence, and with her gaze averted, she turned around, terrified to meet his eyes.  
  
A sputtered noise escaped his lips, and Anne glanced up, startled. His eyes wide, he searched her expression in disbelief. “But- but you…! You said you didn’t have one!”  
  
Anne blinked, taken aback. He had remembered that? “I didn’t know about it for a while! I can’t see the back of my head!”  
  
Gilbert ran a hand through his hair roughly, incredulous. “But- but you- you hate me! Or maybe you did hate me, I don’t know! How can you be my soulmate if you hate me?!”  
  
For a moment, Anne said nothing; then suddenly, she began to laugh. The stress of the conversation, of seeing him, the frankness with which he spoke, it was all too much for her nerves, already on the fritz. A hard laugh escaped her lungs, loud and cackling, her head bent back as it rattled through her. She straightened, still getting a hold of herself as Gilbert stared at her with wide eyes; she raised a hand to her face, realizing that her eyes were filled with tears. Relief washed over her, and she realized as she breathed in deeply just how _happy_ she felt.  
  
“Oh Gilbert, I don’t hate you. I don’t think I can put into words just how happy this makes me.”  
  
“Happy?” he asked, his voice soft and unsure.  
  
She closed the gap between them, grabbing hold of his face in her hands before kissing him deeply, intensely, closing her eyes as she took in the moment, her stomach twisting with butterflies. He in turn stood frozen, and Anne realized suddenly just what she had just done. Thinking better of it, Anne pulled away, apologetic, her face red with embarrassment.  
  
“Oh my- I’m so sorry, I just- I was so happy and I wasn’t thinking- I should have asked, I’m….”  
  
Anne trailed off as Gilbert began to laugh, no longer frozen in his spot. He stepped forward, leaning down to kiss her, pulling his lips away after a quick kiss, murmuring to her with his forehead pressed against hers, “Don’t apologize. Not for this. I’ve been dreaming of doing this for years.”  
  
He kissed her again, and _oh_ , Anne was sure her heart would explode as she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to his back as if letting go would lead to her collapsing on the ground.  
  
He pulled away slowly, and tentatively met her gaze; a tear streaked Anne’s cheek, and when she spoke, she found herself choked up. “I’ve been dreaming of this, too.”  
  
Gilbert chuckled, embracing her tightly, pressing his lips against her forehead. “Well, then… what do we do now?”  
  
Before Anne could respond, she heard footsteps approach from several feet away. She quickly pulled away from Gilbert’s embrace, blushing as her eyes searched for who was near: to her relief, it was only Bash, eyeing them suspiciously with Delphine in his arms. “Now what are the two of you up to?”  
  
Anne began to piece together an excuse but before she could finish a word Gilbert was laughing giddily, eyes lit up in spirits. “Bash! Anne- she’s my soulmate!”  
  
Bash’s eyes shifted between the two of them; then, dramatically, he rolled his eyes. “Well, I could have told you that!”  
  
Gilbert’s scoffed, his shoulders deflating in exasperation. “You couldn’t have known! Not for sure!”  
  
“I had a feeling! And when I feel something in my gut, it’s usually right!”  
  
Anne watched in silence as Gilbert and Bash went back and forth, a wash of feelings rushing over her. She had a soulmate. She felt as if something had finally clicked in place, as if fate itself had waited until this moment for them both to piece together what it was that they shared, this bond that connected their souls.  
  
She didn’t think she would ever be able to stop grinning.  
  
Gilbert laughed, and Anne found herself listening back in on the conversation. “Can you give us another minute, Bash? I swear, then we can leave.”  
  
Bash nodded; if he was annoyed, he didn’t show it. Anne stepped forward as he began to turn, stopping him. “And can you let Marilla and Matthew know that we can leave soon, too? I don’t want to worry them.”  
  
Bash waved, a gesture of confirmation, and once he was several feet away, Anne turned back to face Gilbert, finding that he was watching her with big, soft eyes. She blinked, brow furrowing. “What is it?” she asked slowly.  
  
“You look stunning.”  
  
Anne’s mouth dried and her eyes instantly filled with tears. “I don’t- I don’t know what to say. I don’t think I deserve you.”  
  
She thought of the future he could have had with Winnie: the Sorbonne, wealth and comfort, never again having to worry about crops yielding enough profit to survive another year.  
  
Gilbert must have seen these thoughts on her expression; he reached out, cupping her cheek. “You do deserve me. I think you deserve every happiness in the world.”  
  
She smiled against his touch, closing her eyes for a moment, reaching up her own hand to rest over his. She opened her eyes again, murmuring, “But the Sorbonne, and with Winnie- you could have had it all.”  
  
It wasn’t that Anne didn’t trust the universe, it was just that she needed to hear from his lips a confirmation, that this was what he wanted. Anxiety and terror ate at her mind that he would find himself trapped in a relationship that ended up a disappointment.  
  
He met her eyes, an unwavering and steady gaze. “No. Not all, not everything. I wouldn’t have had you.”  
  
He leaned in, pressing his lips passionately against hers, one hand supporting her back while the other curled into the hair on the back of her head, right where her mark was. She kissed him back just as eagerly, planning on making up for months of lost time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, but of course a special thank you to Tessa, Caroline, and August for being so supportive of my fic writing. Please let me know in the comments what you thought, I really appreciate it! 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @remylebub!


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